Friday, June 12, 2009
The "Harry" Beaver
No, this is not what it looks like. I am not about to blog about a "beaver." Also known (sometimes) as, a woman's private parts that are not shaven. Sorry if this disappoints you. Let me also begin by stating that I am slightly intoxicated. This, however, will not have any affect on the importance of this subject matter and how truly terrifying this story is. Instead, it may affect my grammatical errors and the creation of a sensible blog. However, I must push on and attempt to share my story.
Today RNH and I traveled to the river to fish. We go to our normal spot and begin to drown worms. It is just an average day on the river. We fish from the first spot and talk as we do normally. Then we begin to gather our things to move down the river to a better spot. All of a sudden:
Something across the river, on the bank, on a tree above the river, had fallen into the water. As soon as we started moving. Meaning we startled it, and it jumped into the river. I swear I saw something HUGE fall into the water. Well... I had forgot my gun, thankfully RNH has his and he draws it. I grab him and tell him we've GOT to go. I'm freaked out. This animal sounded like a grown MAN had hit the water. I am absolutely, positively sure, that there is a ginormous animal out there that is going to get us! (We've seen cat paws out in the woods that are the size of my hand... seriously.) I'm terrified and ready to head back to dry land. RNH insists that we stay- he promises he'll pump a few bullets in whatever comes near.
We move down the river and begin to fish again. I'm looking over my shoulder every single second and staring into the water expecting a Loch Ness Monster to appear. I'm really scared. Nothing comes up out of the water, nothing moves. We catch a few catfish, but the bass aren't biting as they usually are. Probably because of the loud THWACK in the water.
Then we hear it again. THWACK!!!! THWACK!!!
Its a "dam" beaver. This time we see his head above water, and he's down the river a bit. Not RIGHT in front of us like last time. He still scares the ever-living POOP outta me!
The beaver continues to do this for a while, scaring me each time he does it. But he's never as close as he was the first time, telling us that he's kinda scared of us. And besides RNH has some metal to show him if he does try anything on us! We keep fishing, the beaver keeps his occasional "thwack" and everything is good. Then RNH gets stuck by a catfish whisker and we end up going back home because he got stuck pretty good and it won't stop bleeding. Plus I'm hungry.
When we get back I check out a beaver website that says beavers hit their tails on the water when they're alarmed and feel threatened. So, there ya go. I check out a beaver website, RNH checks out Beaver Recipes. Awesome.
I'd be all about trying some beaver stew, but this is the same beaver that swam within a few feet of me while hunting this winter. He's adorable. I really like him. So instead I suggest to RNH that we name him "Harry" in reference to the perverted "hairy beavers" that people like to refer to as women's "bushes." But RNH hates the name "Harry" and insists that we name him "Enrique." Despite the fact that Mexico probably doesn't have beavers. Who knows if Spain does. Oh well. So Enrique officially scared the crap out of me today. I'll be watching that beaver next time we're down there... and make sure I keep my gun handy!
*Also- the ONE and ONLY time I don't bring my camera to the river- and miss the photo op with Enrique... DANGIT!*
Posted by Wife of a Fab Redneck