Thursday, June 18, 2009

I Think My Left Hand Will Need to be Amputated!

First off, let me apologize (again) for yet another intoxicated blog below. The most unfortunate thing about blogging is, when I have the time to do it, I'm at home. Which means I'm off. When I'm off, RNH and I like to have a few drinks and relax. Maybe we have a few-to-many, but whatever. Then I get to thinking. And, well, I drunk-blog and so be it! Anyways. I'm sober now. So let me tell you about my redneck mishap today.
RNH and I worked the garden after almost 3 days of rain. You're not supposed to work a wet garden because you can spread diseases and stuff. Oops. I really hope we didn't ruin everything we've got. We just couldn't help ourselves. It was nice to be out in the sunshine once again, and the grass and weeds came up just so easy! Here are a few pics from the garden:

The strawberries (I only have one plant) I had planted in a pot. I decided that strawberries might go well in between all of the blue berry bushes. So I decided next year I'll buy some more strawberries to put there, and this year I'll just transplant this one into the ground and see how well it does. It took OFF! I think it may be a little late for the berries, so I might not get to eat them, but next year I'll know that these berries will do perfect here.

The first sign of this year's first attempt at pumpkins!!! We planted the seeds right before our three-day rain spell. I was afraid the seeds would get washed away (looks like that might have happened to the limas and habeneros) but I guess not! Its so unusual to get as much rain as we did this year in the month of June. It makes me worried that we're going to get a big hurricane come inland. I know, that might be weird. But that's what I think will happen!

The year's first 'mater!
The bloom on a Roma tomato plant. I hope we get lots of these so we can can RNH's spaghetti sauce!
I love these dragonflies! They are everywhere!
I just love to watch beans grow! I think its so neat that you can touch them to a stick, or whatever else, and just a few minutes later, you come back and the entire vine has wrapped itself around. You just have to be careful. Even walking past the plants, the little vines want to reach out and attach themselves to your clothing! They're so sticky!

Okay, enough of that. Here is what happened to me today. After working in the garden, RNH and I decided to go and fish the pond for dinner. The pond is way over-stocked in Brim and Sunfish. These fish are not the best for eating (not like eating catfish or bass, or whatever other fish that might be considered the "Catch of the Day" at a fish camp.) But we figure that we need to take fish out, so the smaller ones can get bigger and have more room to grow. We take a cooler, scaler, knives, cutting board, poles and worms down to the pond. This pond is crazy. Once you put a worm even close to the surface of the water, you've got fish biting. So we decided that RNH would fish and I would clean.
I've never cleaned a fish. Never. But I think that after cleaning a duck this past Fall, a fish is no sweat! RNH shows me and I get the gist of it. The only thing I won't do, is cut the heads off. I don't like that part. So RNH is pulling them out, cutting their heads off, and then I'm taking them to a spot in the woods to clean them. I cut off the side fins, scale the fish, slice off the bottom fins and then take the innards out. Not too bad.

At one point I punctured the doo-doo intestine. I had no clue fish doo-doo can stink that bad. I wanted to gag. There was brown muddy, stinky, smelly stuff coming out of the bottom of the fish, along with all of the blood, liver, stomach, heart (or whatever those organs were!) too. It was yucky. I thought that the fish would still be okay to eat.

I begin to get antsy and I'm just excited to have fish to eat. Plus I'm starving. RNH tells me he's going to pull just a few more out. These aren't the biggest fish in the world, and to have a good meal for two people, you're going to need a few fish. He goes to the other end of the pond to catch some big ones, and I'm finishing cleaning the fourth fish. I am done with it, just have to cut the tail off. I begin to slice, with the cutting board half-propped against my leg. I'm holding onto the board with my left hand. Then all of a sudden, my right hand slips, and I dig the fillet knife into my left wrist. Right under my hand. I swear I think the knife has gone at least a 1/2 inch into my wrist. I pull it out and it immediately gushes blood.

First thought: I'm going to die. People slit their wrists when they want to kill themselves. I've done it. I've mistakenly killed myself. No, pull yourself together. You have to make long, vertical slits to kill yourself. Besides, its a slow bleed-out. Not a sudden one. Pressure. Put pressure on it to stop the bleeding. I'm yelling at RNH to get over there. I hear him running around the pond and I feel somewhat relieved. At least if I pass out from blood-loss, he'll be able to carry me to the car and drive me to the hospital. Second concern: I've got a good fish in my hand. Can't let that go to waste.

I'm holding onto the fish in my right hand, and using my right wrist to put pressure on my left wrist to stop the bleeding. Once RNH gets to my side I tell him "Open the cooler, just open the cooler." I'm desperately trying not to cry even though it hurts so bad. He opens the cooler and I throw the fish inside. Okay, now time to address the wound.
I peel off my wrist and show RNH the puncture wound. It is nothing. It looks like a tiny scratch. The immediate area around the puncture has turned purple, but I can bend my wrist and all of my fingers, so I should be cool. I try to play cool. "Don't worry about it. I'll go up and clean it off. But I'm done cleaning fish for the day."

RNH stays behind and gathers all of our stuff, and the cooler with our dinner. I wash the wound out and bandage it up. I'm okay, sorta. It actually hurts to bend my wrist even slightly, and it hurts to type. So you should be happy. I'm sacrificing to write this long post.

Anyways. Story learned- don't try to clean fish with the cutting board 1/2 propped up on your leg. Take your time and be careful- fillet knives are sharp!

RNH mixed up a quick beer-batter and we sliced up the fish into bite sized pieces and fried them up. Let me tell you, it was delish! Oh, except for the sunfish who's pooper-shoot I pierced. I took one bite of him and spit it back out. He tasted like shit. No, seriously. Another lesson learned!

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