Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Speidi's Wedding DISASTER

K- this is totally not redneck related, or really related to me in anyway- other than just a vent. This is all about "The Hills" stars- Spencer and Heidi (aka Speidi) and their horrible wedding disaster. Just so you know, I'm not the biggest pop-culture follower. Yes, I watch the silly TV shows that come on MTV and VH1. They're pretty entertaining, and once you watch one, you kinda get sucked into them! So posting about this Speidi wedding- its just not like me.... which means this is important.

It is the final episode of "The Hills" in which the famous couple, Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montague are making a commitment before God, that they promise to honor, love and cherish each other forever. Well- I shouldn't be one to judge- but they're not doing all of those things now, so how are they going to make that promise for the future? Anyways- I don't want to get into the drama of their relationship, just the drama of the wedding!

Here are a few of my thoughts (and please keep in mind, this is wedding was more bothersome to me because I just had a wedding of my own!):

1) The Guests Attire:

The girls came looking like SLUTS!!! Lauren (L.C.) was wearing a SUPER cute dress, and her hair was styled in an almost 1950's glamor sort of way, but the dress was WAY too short to wear to a wedding. That is just my opinion.
Then there is Jayde, the ever-so-wonderful-trusting (not that she should trust him!) girlfriend of Brody Jenner. She might as well have just shown her cootchie to everyone. This dress is cute (I couldn't wear it b/c I'm a bit more modest!) but NOT appropriate for a wedding.
2) The DRAMA in the pews:

First- why in the WORLD did STACY THE BARTENDER COME???? Spencer first of all "okay-ed" it, (he said just keep her away from Heidi....?????) If I were Heidi and watched the show after the wedding, I would be devastated- because yet again, Spencer shows that he can't be trusted and doesn't give two flips about her feelings. Stacy shouldn't have even felt welcomed there.

Also- why did Brody and Jayde have to sit so close to Audrina? That was a large church.

L.C.- everyone knows the drama of you not going to the wedding because you are actually smart (unlike everyone else) and know that the union is not a good one. But why do you have to make such a dramatic entrance, and instead of coming down the aisle, and sitting in the next closest seat, do you have to walk in from the side up front, down the aisle, to the seat with your friends? That was just too dramatic and odd. Get over yourself.

Kristin Cavallari- puhlease get over yourself too. You seem to thrive off of high school drama. Well, the show has "grown up" and moved on. Take your slutty self somewhere else. You didn't need to walk in all "dramatic" either. And sit next to Justin Bobby? I mean reallY??? Come on, we all know he is NOT cute and looks like a homeless person that hasn't showered for days.

3) Heidis' "Jewels"

....were WAY too much. Okay, its your wedding day and you want to look bling'd out and fabulous, I get that. But THREE CHUNKY bracelets? I think your GINORMOUS diamond ring is fabulous enough for everyone. The necklace, yes that was fine. But then you add these diamond "chain" things... ugh. ENOUGH. I like how Stephanie Pratt was trying to tell her to take some off. Steph girl, you were right!!! Also- did anyone catch how Audrina mentioned that Heidi had on over $100,000 worth of diamonds, then Heidi says she's wearing $1.5M, and then Spencer says she was wearing $2M? Hmmm... looks like someone is fibbing here somewhere... or just exaggerating... a tad. I mean really, whats a Million?

4) The Maid Of Honor Drama

Stephanie- you are NOT her sister. Usually MOH's are the sister of the bride if she has one. GET. OVER. IT. Yes- the MOH (Holly) might not have done everything right. I was my sister's MOH and honestly- I was horrible. I didn't know all of the duties I was supposed to have, and if no one tells you, you won't know. This leads me to #5.

5) The Rehearsal Dinner Fiasco

Holly- you poor, poor, POOR drunken idiot. I don't blame you at all for blubbering a horrible toast on one of the most popular TV shows going.... I would have to be drunk if my sister was marrying Spencer Pratt too! And I agree- anyone that owns a $10,000 purse- you deserve to have a stain put on it. Give some of that money away to people like me! And was the rehearsal dinner meant to be the reception? Which leads me to #6.

6) Reception

I have nothing to write here... because there was none?

7) Paparazzi

I think that if Spencer Pratt has to call the paparazzi to come to his own wedding, this is bad. Who calls them to come to your event? It should just happen. And if you're a "real" celebrity, you shouldn't have to call them, they'll just come. And you should hate them, not go over and talk to them and take pictures for them.

8) Heidi:

She looked like she does every other day... Your wedding day you should look unBElievable. I felt like I did. Heidis' hair looked like the every-day-your-hair-extensions-are-so-long-heavy,-and-fake-looking, and her make up looked the same as well. For my wedding I had my make up airbrushed so I'd look flawless. Well because Heidi looks flawless everyday, I think she gets her makeup professionally done every single day. So her wedding day- she didn't look any bit more special than she does on a working day. Not cool to me.

9) Church, Dress, Flowers

These were all immaculate. But Speidi didn't build the church, sew the dress, or create the flowers. They just picked them out. So they shouldn't get credit for this part of the wedding!

Anyways... I wonder how much of this drama MTV created, and how much of it actually happened on its own. Well, despite what Speidi says, this was NOT the wedding of the year. Mine was! Haha just kidding! I've gone into WAY too much detail about a show and two people that I couldn't give a DAMN whether or not they are on this earth. So that being said- I'm done!


  1. I agree with everything you said-- HOWEVER. While the jewelry WAS way to much for a bride I think it was fitting for Heidi. She is after all, a country girl from Colorado who moved to LA, got a nose job and married a pathetic record producer. She's living in her own little reality and the over abundance of diamonds just proved that she is nouveaux riche...

  2. Haha true, true! I guess it is VERY fitting for her!

    Maybe I'm just jealous I didn't get to wear diamonds like that on MY wedding day??? ...yeah, prolly not. I just woulda look goofy and over-done. At least it looked 1/2 way normal on her!

  3. I just tried to put a comment on here but it screwed up and wouldn't let me. I forget what I said. The episode didn't record last night so I haven't seen it yet. I will though.

    P.S. I still really want some taco bell!

  4. Oh no! You HAVE to let me know when you see the after-special. The actual last episode just doesn't go into a lot of detail about the wedding. The "Speidi Special" afterwards does.

    And I forgot to mention the Bridesmaids dresses! I did NOT like them. But I don't like anything that goes over one shoulder the way the dresses did. I think she could have found something much more elegant.

    Adam and I are doing a Taco night tomorrow! Not the same as the 'Bell tho!!!

  5. Ok, LOVED IT!haha I have a few more things I would like to vent with you.

    1.Kristin Cavallari ~ Had bad wardrobe choice too! Her nips were showing!

    LC ~ Although I love her, I totally agree with you on HER grand entrances to THERE wedding!

    2. I do agree with #4 even though she should feel shafted, it still wasn't her place. Also, talking smack about Heidi, just made her look stupid!

    For the rehearsal ... Holly did make her self look pretty trashy! just saying!